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JillMatch:That Time I Was the Leanest of My Life and Felt the Least Sexy Ever

Photo: Diane Flores, captured by photographer Carlo Gomez

I’ve been wanting to put in writing about this for some time. And I truly initially began this weblog in 2013 (lol), however with one of my good associates and peer in the business, Diane Flores, launching her long-awaited Sensual Movement (sure, women, it’s for feeling extra sexxxxxy) program this week, I thought it a good time to complete it up and get it out.

Feeling “sexy” is such a posh factor. The time period will get thrown round rather a lot, like, “Become your sexiest self!” or “Feel sexy in your skin!” and I’m over right here like, okay however what does that really imply??

Well, as is typical, I need to discover the idea of “feeling sexy” from a weight-reduction plan level of view and share with you my story, one thing I’ve by no means shared earlier than.

The Complicated Relationship Between Being Lean and Feeling Sexy

Going a bit rouge at present. I wanna speak about one thing we frequently skim over in the physique world and that’s feeling attractive and past that, feminine libido. Seems slightly unusual that we don’t speak a lot about it contemplating one of the #1 causes many individuals train and need eat nicely is to vary their physique considering they’ll really feel extra assured and attractive in consequence.

I was speaking to a pal a pair weeks in the past, and reminiscing on my competitors days and granted, I didn’t use the healthiest or most sustainable practices throughout contest prep, however I talked about that I’d by no means felt much less attractive, regardless of being the leanest I’d ever been.

How odd.

But additionally, is sensible. Think about not solely the bodily exhaustion from coaching, however extra importantly, the psychological fatigue from occupied with meals continuously.

And the typically restrictive practices, chopping out entire meals teams, adrenal implications, biochemical implications (carb consumption is instantly associated to serotonin uptake in the mind, so it’s no marvel you are feeling like a zombie whenever you go low carb!), and the insecurity round our our bodies (!!!), can all depart us really feel much less attractive than ever.


It was a bizarre expertise for me, weight-reduction plan and the implications round libido and feeling “sexy.” I thought I’d really feel my sexiest ever, and be my most safe, assured self ever, however it didn’t work that means.

In reality, the extra I targeted on making my physique into some sort of work of artwork sculpture with onerous strains and no delicate edges, the extra insecure I turned:  Is my abdomen sucked in sufficient, is there nonetheless cellulite on my thighs when I put them on this place, what’s occurring to my love handles now, am I versatile sufficient, is it too mild in right here, what do I seem like now, and so forth. and so on.??

Talk about not feeling attractive or sensual!

I was beneath the impression that the leaner I obtained, the extra engaging I was presupposed to really feel. How come that wasn’t occurring?

It was disorienting. And the different factor that confused me was … the reverse was occurring. In my low season, I was having fun with much more carbs, I was slowing gaining weight and my libido was off the charts. Yes, I was nonetheless preventing physique insecurity however it didn’t impression my potential to really feel sensual and engaged when it got here to intercourse with my associate.

The widespread denominator—leaner or not—was me. My mindset round my physique. My insecurity round it. My considering about my physique.

We know this intuitively however it bears repeating right here: your means to point out up confidently in your pores and skin is a state of thoughts.

There’s not an inverse relationship between physique fats % and confidence. It’s not like the leaner you get, the extra confidence and attractive you are feeling.

Some individuals do. Sometimes. But it’s not a given. It takes psychological work to beat emotions of physique insecurity. It takes specializing in one thing aside from your physique fats % or gown measurement. It takes feeling as if you matter, you contribute, you’re value regardless.

Confidence and feeling as if you’re simply as worthy of feeling attractive as anybody else, is a selection you could actually make any time.

But I even have some instruments for you—and 2 of the three I have dealt with, however I will nonetheless engaged on the threerd!

three Ways to Increase Confidence and Feeling Powerful and Sexy in Your Body

1) Weight-train.

We know this. Physical power in the fitness center begets psychological power. I’ll always remember when I began lifting at 16 with my greatest good friend, Sally. The two of us walked round feeling like Superwoman. We even joked that we couldn’t wait to get in fights at home events (no, mother, we by no means did!), to “try out our new muscles.” If you’ve had the expertise of lifting heavier weights in the health club for a interval of time, you already know this to be true. There’s nothing extra highly effective than a lady whose psychological recreation matches her bodily stature.

2) Value your self outdoors your physique.

This was a tough one for me, because it takes letting go of needing to look a sure approach (be much less “perfect”) and focus as an alternative on methods you possibly can contribute outdoors of your physique. For me, this took the type of beginning the weblog at JillMatch, writing every day, creating methods and frameworks to assist others really feel profitable, and finally begin doing distance teaching. I discovered that I might really feel helpful from the perception and service I was offering to others, and it was much more rewarding than focusing alone abs and thighs and arms all day lengthy. And additionally beginning to present up extra authentically and let the chips fall, as an alternative of feeling like individuals would solely like me if I seemed a sure method.

If you’re nonetheless engaged on this, I’d take out a bit of paper and write down the methods during which you contribute and kick ass outdoors of your physique. And then be happy to leverage these as a lot as attainable.

Because a lady is at her strongest when she’s unafraid to point out up unapologetically as herself and let the chips fall.

three) Explore and take pleasure in your physique proper now, without having to drop a few pounds or look totally different.

This is one thing I am exploring now, with the assist of my pal Diane. She’s a hardworking mother of three, who’s owned a pole health studio for the final 10 years and has helped hundreds of women of all shapes and sizes study to understand their our bodies, as is, and really feel their sexiest and extra sensual ever.

Diane and I truly did a 1:1 session over Skype lately, the place she taught me some of the most elementary sensual actions she teaches her women. Nothing too loopy contemplating she works with principally common gals and different mothers who need to really feel extra assured however aren’t about to compete in pole health (you’ve seen the YouTube vids, I’m like, yeahhhh, that’s not going to be me, ha!).

And what I discovered is that shifting in a brand new approach, each for health and for enjoyable, was so liberating!! I didn’t assume in any respect about, what number of energy am I burning, what muscular tissues am I working, that is foolish, who am I do that, and so on.—all I considered was shifting my physique and not being scared to get a bit of sensual with it.

Yes, we recorded the video so keep tuned, I’m gonna share it quickly, ha! But it was a blast, and I’ve been doing Diane’s videos for the final couple weeks in the consolation of my very own front room. They’re as brief as 5 minutes and so long as 30. It’s been an journey into my very own physique and an entire 180 from the hard-hitting cardio and weight-training I usually do.

Sensual Movement made me soften a bit of. Which is new! Ha!

Anyway, I needed to share this with you as a result of I assume lots of you’re like me, unsure how one can tackle the yang to our normal hardcore yin, and Diane’s program is one nice solution to begin feeling a leeeeetle sexier and sensual with out having to hitch a studio or decide to doing simply this.

I have been sprinkling in the flows, usually 1-2x/week. And it’s made an enormous distinction.

You can take a look at all the particulars for Sensual Movement here.

Diane has agreed to go away her new course open till tomorrow (Friday) for you, if you wish to take benefit. The course closes at midnight on Friday Sept 1st.

I’d advocate utilizing the flows not as a full-time coaching program—in addition to, a woman’s gotta raise—however how I am utilizing them, which is along with. And lawd, even a bit bit of sensual motion has felt so liberating! 😉

Let me know what you assume as soon as you enroll! Xo, Jill

GET SENSUAL MOVEMENT HERE (solely out there for a restricted time)

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