Have you ever been told you hit like a woman? Or run like one? Or cry like one? If so, I hope you answered sure. Because you are a woman and women do all of these issues. Oh, and we do them nicely. What – you thought “hit like a girl” was an insult? For a lengthy time, so did I.
Recently advert corporations – particularly these specializing in cotton catchers for our crimson cooters – have been pumping out the woman positivity. Taking a web page from all of the #realbeauty Dove adver-mocumentaries (that was a horrible portmanteau, I’m sorry!), corporations are realizing that as an alternative of telling us we ought to be ashamed of the “weird” issues that make us women – stretch marks, menstruation, boobs, durations, hair, below-ground bleeding, cellulite, did I point out all our bloodletting? – in the event that they inform us to be pleased with these issues and embrace them we’ll really feel happier about ourselves! (And speak about them extra by running a blog about them and utilizing their hashtags and sharing all of the inspirational movies on Facebook and, natch, shopping for extra of their merchandise.)
First we had the Period Party, sponsored by Hello Flo (a month-to-month subscription service for… your month-to-month):
Not going to lie, this was hysterical. First as a result of I used to be completely that woman who was absolutely the final amongst her pals to hitch the “cherry slushie club” (I used to be 16). Second as a result of my household was completely the sort to do a first moon celebration (alas no Vagician or bobbing for ovaries although). And final as a result of… durations don’t have glitter. (If you haven’t seen this vid but, it’s a should. Click via to see it if it doesn’t present up in your reader or e-mail!)
I laughed. (So arduous.)
Next we had the Sorry Not Sorry video, delivered to you by Pantene:
The phenomenon of women apologizing for every little thing is properly documented and the video (once more, click on by means of if it doesn’t present up for you) provides some good examples. I so completely do that! Although I feel a few of it’s simply social lubrication and isn’t meant to be demeaning, I do assume a lot of us have simply gotten within the behavior of beginning every part with, “Sorry, can I say something?” When as an alternative we might simply come out with it: “I have something to say.” You can say it with a smile. You can nonetheless be well mannered and professional. And you can nonetheless be highly effective. We don’t need to apologize for proudly owning our personal energy.
I received mad. (Just a little.)
Then there was this Like a Girl video, courtesy of Always maxi pads:
I acquired unhappy.
“You punch like a girl,” my boxing coach laughed as I futilely tried once more to get a good, clear jab at him. “Come on, you can do better!” And you know what? I felt inspired. I punched more durable, labored more durable, attacked quicker. Inherently I knew that “punching like a girl” was dangerous and I felt like my girly-ness was one thing I needed to overcome to be competent at Krav Maga. In hindsight, I feel I used to be punching like a beginner as I’d by no means executed actual boxing earlier than. It was inexperience, not gender, that made me incompetent.
But this concept of “you …. like a girl” is so ingrained in me that till tonight I’d by no means even thought to query it. Of course males are higher at punching, kicking, throwing, hitting, operating, or whatever-ing as a result of they’re greater and stronger, proper? And whereas there’s fact to that – I’ll by no means say there aren’t vital variations between genders – it doesn’t imply that the woman means is inherently worse. Different doesn’t imply dangerous.
What I want I’d stated that night time: “Thank you, I do hit like a girl. Because I am one.” You hit like a woman ought to be a praise, or a assertion of reality.
As I considered this, I used to be reminded of Azusmom’s touch upon my post yesterday about taking gentle care of yourself. She wrote,
” Because that’s what we, as females, are “supposed” to do. If we deal with ourselves, we’re “selfish.” Which is the worst factor a woman or lady might be. I took that lesson to coronary heart. Don’t be egocentric, and don’t be assured. Don’t be extra completed than another person. Hide that mild underneath a bushel, lest you make one other individual really feel dangerous. Oh, and don’t be indignant. No one likes a bitch. Don’t cry, as a result of everybody hates needy, manipulative women.”
We’re given such a slender position of what a “cool girl” must be and whereas we might query sure gadgets on the record, we not often query why simply being a woman isn’t “cool” in it’s personal proper. We all the time really feel like we’re not sufficient – all the time making an attempt to enhance, be higher, be good. Always making an attempt to beat our girly weaknesses.
I’m not making an attempt to make the blokes look dangerous right here or diminish them in any respect as we’re all a product of the tradition that we live in. We’re taught it from the very starting, from each males and different women. And we women typically inadvertently reinforce these classes with one another as we get older. No, what made me unhappy about this video is that I had so completely purchased into this “like a girl” message. I innately agreed that doing these issues “like a girl” meant that I used to be doing them poorly and I wanted to not be like a woman to do it proper.
Just up to now week, I’ve heard different women say or stated the next issues myself:
– “I’m totally girl-braining this” (stated as a result of she thought she was over-analyzing a textual content from a boy)
– “Stop being such a girl” (stated as a result of she stated she didn’t need to do a mud run)
– “I’m a girl, I can’t help it” (stated once I bought one other foofy gown)
– “I don’t need to be that woman” (stated whereas she was crying via some harm emotions)
– “I’m a basic b*tch” (stated to elucidate her spray tan, acrylic nails and hair extensions)
– “Stop acting like a girl” (stated to a boy, meant as the last word insult)
All of those have been stated as if the individual was doing one thing mistaken. But is it mistaken to attempt to work out a relationship from a cryptic textual content or choose out of an athletic competitors or cry or need to be lovely or love fairly issues? Even if these are stereotypical woman behaviors (and naturally there are lots of women who don’t match these stereotypes), it isn’t dangerous to do issues like a woman. (It’s additionally not dangerous for a boy, if he needs, to mimic “girly” traits he likes and sees worth in.)
Remember when a man in my bootcamp class told me, “You sure are strong… for a girl“? I was indignant and with the help of you all came up with some really great comebacks to that comment. Yet ideally it should just be a statement of fact like “I had eggs for breakfast” or “My left foot is a half size bigger than my right”. What I want I had replied to him: “ I’m robust. I’m a woman. And neither has a lot to do with my muscle tissues.”
Even the phrase “girl” might be problematic. Some time in the past I wrote a submit about how terribly NFL cheerleaders are treated and one touch upon it that has caught with me ever since was somebody who principally stated, “Great article. But you should have referred to them as ‘women’ instead of ‘girls’.” And I feel she made a good level. Supreme courtroom justices are all the time women. Cheerleaders are all the time women. Yet being a supreme courtroom justice doesn’t essentially make you a higher human being than does being a cheerleader. Plus, NFL cheerleaders are grownup women, even when they characterize the acute finish of stereotypical girly conduct. I ought to have used “women” in my article concerning the cheerleaders. But I additionally hope that sometime “girl” gained’t be seen as an insult both.
Being a woman doesn’t make us higher than boys. But we’ve obtained to cease treating “… like a girl” as an insult. To which I’ve to say get it woman. Oh, and to my boxing coach? It seems that I solely began to get higher at Krav Maga as soon as I accepted and embraced the a part of my girl-self I was most ashamed of.
Have you ever been told you do one thing “like a girl”? Have you ever slammed your self for “being that girl”? How do we flip “like a girl” from a pejorative to a constructive??